ODE to a childless father

You were never there for me
(you were childless)
never taught me anything
(you were childless)
How to walk, how to talk, how to see, how to spell, how to write,
how to love despite.....
(you were childless)
27 long years I waited to meet you, imagine that? That's almost 30 years of never seeing your baby girl. Never knowing if she was dead and gone! Did you ever wonder? I could have died a thousand times(which I have) but u never knew!
(you were childless)
Tears in my eyes just wondering what did i fucking do? why he don't want me? why he never come thru?
Just to say hi or shit even bye. My fucking insecurities are at an all time high, at this point
(you were childless)
Swimming in a sea of complexes created feelings of who am I left with!? Never knowing my next step because PEP talks didn't exist! I'm really just out here in the mist, or should I say mix because
I'm trying to fucking fucking fix all the mistakes you left me baring and now its taring me apart
because it was never my fucking problem from the start!
Damn I just wanted to go to the park my nigga! Was life that hard for u?
Were you pulling triggers, making hella figures, is that why I never knew?
Nah cant be that pussy niggas dont pull triggers! They sit and configure ways to get out of spending that quality time and them days
I forgive you tho, my heart is pure! No thanks to you I'm sure because it was never YOUR knock on the door.

ODE to a childless father